is being a best friend.
That sound's quite cliché, but it's true. :)
My Wind. :)
Lizard. :)
Soul Sister. :)
Mama JJ. :)
3.29.2010
3.28.2010
Just hold up
Not a day goes by where I don't think about it. Everything that happened. I still don't know what's really going on. I'm still looking for the truth. I want to see you and ask you, but I'm afraid you might lie. You lied somewhere along this road, I just haven't found out where. I want to slap sense into you. Someone has to. I know I don't have the guts to confront you, but I would if I did. I just wish I could read minds. I'd know so much about everyone. I want to know that you're going to be alright. I don't like hearing about stupid things you like to do or say. You break my heart. You have so much potential. You could do so much better. You're just LAZY. If you had some sort of motivation, would you even try?
Do you have any sense at all? UGH.
Do you have any sense at all? UGH.
3.25.2010
On the verge of a mental breakdown
It seems like almost every possible bad thing has happened since maybe a month or two ago. I mean seriously.
Lexie got mono. Scott crap happened. My friend's dad died. Alex crap came up. My friend's best friend smoked pot again. And now my best friend is in the hospital.
A month ago, pretty much to the minute, I broke up with Scott because I figure out he's kinda a douche. I got over that quickly. Last Friday, my friend's dad died of a heart attack. She didn't have the best relationship with her dad, and he didn't have the best relationship with God. It's all so sad. Now anger's coming. Well, Alex was the biggest douche to Lexie last night. He said he has a reason for it. There is absolutely NO REASON to be a douche. Ever. That all I have to say on that topic. Not really, but I'm stopping myself. ANYWAYS, the next thing that happened was my friend's best friend smoked pot again after five months of not doing it. I hate seeing my friends that disappointed in someone. And as of right now, my best friend is laying in a hospital bed connected to tubes and scanners. I want to be here so badly. My mom took me away. It's because of her mono. Her spleen started hurting in church. She left to go to the emergency room. I was texting her in church to make sure she was okay. She said something about surgery that made me want to cry. I came home and cried for a good thirty minutes out of anger and wanting to be with her and probably a lot of locked up emotions. My mom didn't seem to understand that having your best friend in the hospital is a big deal. Tomorrow is my friend's dad's funeral. That's going to be kind of hard. I hope I'm not all cried out. I don't want to go and look bitter and stuff. I'm sure seeing my friends cry will make me cry. It always does.
All that happening and I still feel pretty happy. It's all God, really. Yes, I get angry and sad and such, but life is pretty good. I have friends and family that love me, and an almighty God up in Heaven that will always be there.
Lexie got mono. Scott crap happened. My friend's dad died. Alex crap came up. My friend's best friend smoked pot again. And now my best friend is in the hospital.
A month ago, pretty much to the minute, I broke up with Scott because I figure out he's kinda a douche. I got over that quickly. Last Friday, my friend's dad died of a heart attack. She didn't have the best relationship with her dad, and he didn't have the best relationship with God. It's all so sad. Now anger's coming. Well, Alex was the biggest douche to Lexie last night. He said he has a reason for it. There is absolutely NO REASON to be a douche. Ever. That all I have to say on that topic. Not really, but I'm stopping myself. ANYWAYS, the next thing that happened was my friend's best friend smoked pot again after five months of not doing it. I hate seeing my friends that disappointed in someone. And as of right now, my best friend is laying in a hospital bed connected to tubes and scanners. I want to be here so badly. My mom took me away. It's because of her mono. Her spleen started hurting in church. She left to go to the emergency room. I was texting her in church to make sure she was okay. She said something about surgery that made me want to cry. I came home and cried for a good thirty minutes out of anger and wanting to be with her and probably a lot of locked up emotions. My mom didn't seem to understand that having your best friend in the hospital is a big deal. Tomorrow is my friend's dad's funeral. That's going to be kind of hard. I hope I'm not all cried out. I don't want to go and look bitter and stuff. I'm sure seeing my friends cry will make me cry. It always does.
All that happening and I still feel pretty happy. It's all God, really. Yes, I get angry and sad and such, but life is pretty good. I have friends and family that love me, and an almighty God up in Heaven that will always be there.
3.13.2010
Thoughts... DOTS.
The other day I got to thinking about everything. Life. Changes. Past. Present.
We're growing up. Seriously. All my friends that I've known forever have change so much. In good and bad ways, to be honest. I've changed too. I'm not just ragging on everyone. But really, In fourth grade, I never would have imagined my life like this. Going to victory. Having a niece. Being the slightest bit rebellious. Having a boyfriend. Breaking up with that boyfriend. Having new best friends that will, hopefully, last forever. Losing friends along the way. Making more friends.
I've made more friends at Bixby just this school year than all the people I know at victory in the three years I've been there. Some of these people include Catherine, Jordan, Davis (I knew of him, but became friend), Brittney, Alex, Dani, Caboose, Kyle, and Alicia (I knew her and Kyle, too).
The biggest changes I've seen have happened between summer and now. Wow. Lots of change.
We're growing up. It needs to stop. Rachel's in driver's ed. Liz is getting a job. Emily is driving. Man, it's all so weird. Lexie and I will be in driver's ed this summer AND hopefully working at Loughridge. This is a lot to take in.
I used to want to grow up. Now, I just want things to slow down. Yes, I'm excited to drive and get a job, but it's weird. You know?
Take it all in. That's what I'm going to do. I will savor it all.
We're growing up. Seriously. All my friends that I've known forever have change so much. In good and bad ways, to be honest. I've changed too. I'm not just ragging on everyone. But really, In fourth grade, I never would have imagined my life like this. Going to victory. Having a niece. Being the slightest bit rebellious. Having a boyfriend. Breaking up with that boyfriend. Having new best friends that will, hopefully, last forever. Losing friends along the way. Making more friends.
I've made more friends at Bixby just this school year than all the people I know at victory in the three years I've been there. Some of these people include Catherine, Jordan, Davis (I knew of him, but became friend), Brittney, Alex, Dani, Caboose, Kyle, and Alicia (I knew her and Kyle, too).
The biggest changes I've seen have happened between summer and now. Wow. Lots of change.
We're growing up. It needs to stop. Rachel's in driver's ed. Liz is getting a job. Emily is driving. Man, it's all so weird. Lexie and I will be in driver's ed this summer AND hopefully working at Loughridge. This is a lot to take in.
I used to want to grow up. Now, I just want things to slow down. Yes, I'm excited to drive and get a job, but it's weird. You know?
Take it all in. That's what I'm going to do. I will savor it all.
3.12.2010
For every minute you're angry, you lose a minute of happiness
So. True.
I've been angry kind of a lot lately. This is disappointing. It's just certain events have happened that made me so mad. I mean, some things are reasonable anger. Others are ugh. I shouldn't be able to get so angry so easily. It's not right.
I've been angry kind of a lot lately. This is disappointing. It's just certain events have happened that made me so mad. I mean, some things are reasonable anger. Others are ugh. I shouldn't be able to get so angry so easily. It's not right.
3.11.2010
There, There Katie.
Soooo, I'm terrified of shots. I don't know how I got this way, but I've been like this for a while. My mom just told me that she's making me get one for Meningitis. I about had a panic attack and I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. That is all.
3.09.2010
Smile though your heart is aching. :)
Th song Smile. Sang by a multiple artists. There's something about it that is bothering me. I don't understand what it is though. It could be the way I'm looking at it. From one point of view, it's telling you to hide your emotions. From another, it's saying don't give up.
Point of view 1:
Hide your emotions. (I have a problem with this sometimes. I'm pretty good at it, too.)
Don't tell people what's going on.
Put on a mask.
Crying is for babies. (That's a little extreme, but whatever. :P)
Sometimes, I tend to hide my emotions. I'm good at it, unfortunately. At times, I wish people would notice. I need to just vent or cry or do something, but I don't. I don't have the courage. I feel like I need to be strong all the time. At this moment, nothing is really bothering me (besides the song) in the way that I want to scream and cry. Crying can be refreshing. It could be over a stain on the carpet or a family member dying. Either way, if you need to, do it. I dare you.
Point of view 2:
Don't give up.
It's not worth it.
You can get through anything.
Don't be afraid.
It will be over soon.
I see this as a troubled time, like a depression or a break up or or a job loss. "No boy is worth crying for, and the one who is won't make you cry." I just had to add that. In this view, it's a great song with an uplifting spirit. It says, "You can do it. Everything's going to be alright." This view makes me like it. :)
That is all.
Point of view 1:
Hide your emotions. (I have a problem with this sometimes. I'm pretty good at it, too.)
Don't tell people what's going on.
Put on a mask.
Crying is for babies. (That's a little extreme, but whatever. :P)
Sometimes, I tend to hide my emotions. I'm good at it, unfortunately. At times, I wish people would notice. I need to just vent or cry or do something, but I don't. I don't have the courage. I feel like I need to be strong all the time. At this moment, nothing is really bothering me (besides the song) in the way that I want to scream and cry. Crying can be refreshing. It could be over a stain on the carpet or a family member dying. Either way, if you need to, do it. I dare you.
Point of view 2:
Don't give up.
It's not worth it.
You can get through anything.
Don't be afraid.
It will be over soon.
I see this as a troubled time, like a depression or a break up or or a job loss. "No boy is worth crying for, and the one who is won't make you cry." I just had to add that. In this view, it's a great song with an uplifting spirit. It says, "You can do it. Everything's going to be alright." This view makes me like it. :)
That is all.
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